Coming home and starting over.

The last months of returning home from Semester at Sea have been a whirlwind of emotions.  For those of you who received my weekly emails, you know that my time abroad was emotionally and physically draining, but completely worth while.  There were good days and there were bad days.  There were days when all I wanted was the “normalness” of my life.  I craved home.  But now, being home, I realized that home is not a single place.  After a long day in port, home became the MV Explorer, but after a long four months away, home was with my parents, brother and puppy.  With home came the holidays and with the holidays came the endless questions.  How was it?  Tell me everything?  What was your favorite country?  What’s the coolest thing you did?  People, these questions are impossible to answer.  Semester at Sea was amazing.  It was truly a life changing experience.  It was just as much a self-exploration as it was a study abroad around the world.  I don’t have just one favorite country because they are all unique and different.  I ran a 10k in Ireland, rode camels in Morocco, sailed down the Amazon River in Brazil, and visited Cuba; but some of my favorite memories are from just sitting on the beach in Portugal, eating sandwiches with my dad in Barcelona, and drinking wine on a peer in the middle of no where with my best friend.

While away, we knew the experience would soon come to an end.  Saying goodbye to my new life and coming home was both a highly anticipated day as well as one of he hardest days of my life.  Andi, Rose and I promised that we wouldn’t cry, but there is no holding back tears as you swipe your ships ID and walk down the gang way, hand in hand, with your best friend for the last time. 

So back to home.  One of the hardest things about being back is continuing on with my life like I never left.  Frankly, people here don’t care what I’ve seen, done or experienced simply because none of them can relate to it.  I know.  What a world I must live in to have one of my biggest worries is explaining my semester to people after traveling for four months.  But it’s emotionally and physically exhausting.  I am now a stranger to all of the new girls in my sorority, and that for sure does not feel like home anymore.  I’m learning how to be independent and live on my own again.  Some days it feels like I’m starting all over, but other days it feels like I never left. I’m constantly torn between loving being back with my friends and missing the ship and Semester at Sea everyday.  It’s hard knowing that come June the MV will no longer be the MV Explorer for Semester at Sea and that I have forever said goodbye to that tangible home.  My best friend lives thousands of miles away from me and the closest thing that I have to the ocean is snow.  I miss watching friends in 4122.  I miss getting ice cream on 7^th deck after a long day.  And I miss the anticipation and adrenaline of pulling into a new port. 

So here I am now.  The adrenaline is wearing off and I’m settling into this new port called home.  Wish me luck. 

And if you want to read up on some of my adventures check out my roommates blog (it's pretty entertaining) https://andigoesabroad.wordpress.com